Halloween Advice: Stay Slim, Stay Safe

This costume is not as cool as it looks.

Guest Post by RYAN SARTOR

Editor’s note: Today October on the Internet welcomes guest blogger Ryan Sartor, creator of the original Movie Pic Contest, to share a not-so-cherished holiday memory.

If you’re kind of a nerd, a title I assume applies to most people reading this blog (either that or “in denial”)*, I must advise against wearing a Halloween costume with excessive padding this October 31st.

I learned this lesson the hard way my sophomore year of high school. It was my last year trick-‘r-treating and I thought it might be fun to use something practical for a costume, like pillows. My cousin Mike helped me tape twelve pillows to my arms, legs, head and torso, respectively.

As I ventured into the night, every male “friend” from my high school that was bigger than me (so, all of them) pushed me over: into people, trees, oncoming traffic. It didn’t hurt my body (because of the pillows), but it did give me a complex: I can only rest my head on folded-up comforters now. Which is embarrassing at hotels because they always say, “Why do you need an extra comforter?” And I tell them, “Come on, just do it.” And sometimes they do.

So remember: never give tough guys an excuse to push you over, and if you know they’re going to do it anyways this Halloween, please, dress up as a Weeble.

This guy knows what's up.

*The views expressed by Mr. Sartor do not necessarily represent those of October on the Internet or its editorial staff. We value your readership and are of the opinion that you are all quite cool and “happenin’,” as the young people say.–Ed.



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