Guest Post by MONICA CASTILLO
Thirteen is kind of a big deal in the mythos of the spooky holiday. However, the number 14 has just as much significance to me. It was then that I truly discovered horror films.
Sure, Dracula was fine and Hocus Pocus was hilarious, but witches and vampires were only so scary. After all, they are fake. Enter the mass murderer, humanity’s real monster. Misunderstood sociopath perhaps, but what sets these men apart is their seemingly unquenchable thirst for young teen blood. Freddy, Leatherface, and my personal favorite, Michael, hunt down the children of the ‘burbs for one reason or another. Continue reading
By MATT HOFFMAN
MURDER PARTY didn't even make the list.
As a horror fan, I often feel as though I’ve already seen everything the genre has to offer. The most effective way to dispel that illusion is a to head over to a well-stocked video store and peruse the Horror shelves. Netflix and OnDemand may be taking over the rental business, but they still can’t duplicate the joy of sifting through hundreds of films I’ve never heard of, let alone seen, the cover art of which is often more entertaining than the films being advertised. To pay tribute to this activity, I decided to head over to a local video store in Brooklyn and see what oddball treasures I could dig up. Continue reading
Really? They're using a mousetrap for the SAW 3D poster? Not some kind of pointy thingamabob jumping out at us? Kind of seems like a missed opportunity.
By MATT HOFFMAN
First of all, this is not a review. Sure, I could’ve spent last night at a midnight screening of Saw 3D and reported back to this blog with a critical analysis and handy star rating, but let’s be honest: No one cares what real critics think of Saw 3D, much less what my opinion of it is. After all, Saw IV got an astonishing 0% “Top Critics” rating on RottenTomatoes.com, and it earned back over three times its budget by the end of its opening weekend. So instead of wasting my time writing a review that would have no influence on anyone’s ticket-buying decision, I’m going to make a confession: I love the Saw series.
Which is not to say that I think the movies themselves are any good. Do go on…
By MATT HOFFMAN
First of all, Cemetery Man is not really a horror movie*, despite the fact that your local video store almost certainly stocks it on the Horror shelves somewhere between Cellar Dweller and The Cheerleader Massacre. (That’s assuming your local video store stocks obscure European cult movies. Actually, this being the age of Netflix and OnDemand, that’s assuming you’re lucky enough to have a local video store at all.)
*Hence the scare quotes in this post’s title. “Scare” quotes–wow, even this blog’s punctuation is Halloween-themed! Get it? Any English majors out there? This thing on? Keep reading, I promise there won’t be any more puns…
Guest Review by ADAM BLOMQUIST
There’s a question about writer/director Tom Six’s prematurely notorious film that I feel nobody is asking: Why the hell is it so funny?
Watching the film for the first time last night, I can’t help but think that the film lives and dies in the minds of viewers, sight unseen. The question becomes not “How is it?” or “Does it contain anything that could be considered artistic substance?” but instead: “Are you the kind of person that wants to see three people sewn together ass-to-mouth?”
I know this is a Halloween blog, and The Human Centipede is no doubt in contention for your holiday viewing time and money, but I think there’s something more interesting going on here than “Should I watch it or not?” Continue reading
Allow me to share a cherished Halloween memory with you. When I was in high school, every October I would have some friends over to watch a double feature of horror DVDs I had picked out. By my senior year this little gathering had expanded to include quite a few friends indeed, which was cool except for the fact that the amount of attention paid to a horror movie is inversely proportional to the amount of people in the room. Demons, which I had never seen before, was the second film on the program that year (after An American Werewolf in London), and by the time it came on several guests (including, shamefully, myself) had migrated downstairs to play ping-pong. But we weren’t down there long before we heard a sudden outburst of yelling and general commotion upstairs. Continue reading