Halloween Memory: The Ghost in the Graveyard

By MATT HOFFMAN

So… Here we are.

October on the Internet has traveled a long and bumpy road towards this day. Admittedly, the Scary Pic Contest didn’t work out all that great, and there were  a few weeks during which posts were few and far between. But overall, this blog accomplished what I wanted it to accomplish: I got to write some fun articles, and, even better, I got to read some fun articles written by my talented friends. Many thanks to Adam Blomquist, Ryan Sartor, Sam Greenberg and Monica Castillo for their great contributions.

I was thinking of devoting this last October post to John Carpenter’s Halloween, but Monica beat me to the punch, which is kind of a relief; writing about movies you love can be a real pain in the ass. Instead, I’m going to share one of my own favorite Halloween memories: The time I got chased by a ghost.

Halloween Memory: The First Cut Is the Deepest

Guest Post by MONICA CASTILLO

Thirteen is kind of a big deal in the mythos of the spooky holiday. However, the number 14 has just as much significance to me. It was then that I truly discovered horror films.

Sure, Dracula was fine and Hocus Pocus was hilarious, but witches and vampires were only so scary. After all, they are fake. Enter the mass murderer, humanity’s real monster. Misunderstood sociopath perhaps, but what sets these men apart is their seemingly unquenchable thirst for young teen blood. Freddy, Leatherface, and my personal favorite, Michael, hunt down the children of the ‘burbs for one reason or another.

The 10 Weirdest Examples of Horror Movie Cover Art That I Could Find at My Local Video Store

By MATT HOFFMAN

MURDER PARTY didn't even make the list.

As a horror fan, I often feel as though I’ve already seen everything the genre has to offer. The most effective way to dispel that illusion is a to head over to a well-stocked video store and peruse the Horror shelves. Netflix and OnDemand may be taking over the rental business, but they still can’t duplicate the  joy of sifting through hundreds of films I’ve never heard of, let alone seen, the cover art of which is often more entertaining than the films being advertised. To pay tribute to this activity, I decided to head over to a local video store in Brooklyn and see what oddball treasures I could dig up.

Torture Porn Populism: Why We Need SAW 3D

Really? They're using a mousetrap for the SAW 3D poster? Not some kind of pointy thingamabob jumping out at us? Kind of seems like a missed opportunity.

By MATT HOFFMAN

First of all, this is not a review. Sure, I could’ve spent last night at a midnight screening of Saw 3D and reported back to this blog with a critical analysis and handy star rating, but let’s be honest: No one cares what real critics think of Saw 3D, much less what my opinion of it is. After all, Saw IV got an astonishing 0% “Top Critics” rating on RottenTomatoes.com, and it earned back over three times its budget by the end of its opening weekend. So instead of wasting my time writing a review that would have no influence on anyone’s ticket-buying decision, I’m going to make a confession: I love the Saw series.

Which is not to say that I think the movies themselves are any good.

The 6 People You Meet at a College Halloween Party

Guest Post by SAM GREENBERG

At some point before you moved into your dorm room and began to “find yourself,” you gave up on going door-to-door for candy. There was once a time when Halloween began before sunset and ended before late-night talk shows, but at some point that ended and Halloween was lame. Maybe a part of you died. Maybe some of you, likely diabetics, were happy to see it go.

Appropriately for the holiday, Halloween is resurrected for all of these children, diabetics included, when they enter college. Rows of houses are replaced with overstuffed apartments. Concerned parents are replaced with lopsided sophomores, still sobbing over their “daddy issues.” This is the magic of Halloween. Among the sexually frustrated upperclassmen and the underclassman still trying to figure out how to hold a beer naturally are these six people you will meet at every college Halloween party.

“Horror” Movie Review: CEMETERY MAN (1994)

By MATT HOFFMAN

First of all, Cemetery Man is not really a horror movie*, despite the fact that your local video store almost certainly stocks it on the Horror shelves somewhere between Cellar Dweller and The Cheerleader Massacre. (That’s assuming your local video store stocks obscure European cult movies. Actually, this being the age of Netflix and OnDemand, that’s assuming you’re lucky enough to have a local video store at all.)

*Hence the scare quotes in this post’s title. “Scare” quotes–wow, even this blog’s punctuation is Halloween-themed! Get it? Any English majors out there? This thing on?